I can’t wait to dive into this content with you because I believe this is going to help you WAKE UP, open your eyes, and realize that the types of moms you see on TV you are comparing yourself to have a different story than you. These moms are probably making it look like life is just SO FREAKING EASY when it’s not.
I’ll admit it. I found myself watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” reruns on late night television sometimes before bed. I would literally stare at their hair, their make-up, their outfits and wonder, “How the heck do the KEEP UP with being moms too?” I started to envy their looks and WISH I could be in their shoes.
Literally in their shoes, have you seen their sexy shoes?! I mean why can’t we all wear high stilettos while washing the dishes, giving baths, scrubbing toilets, and grocery shopping? What about those “Housewives of Beverly Hills?” I mean… their jewelry and the views of their homes OMG! The events they throw are stunning, why can’t I do that?
I began to question why they all seem to have it together but I didn’t.
I started thinking about my lifestyle as a busy mom entrepreneur and my lack of time every day!
Am I doing something wrong?
The TV moms are NOT real. Their gorgeous hair, stunning outfits, flawless make-up, and happy children are playing a part. And I was falling for the “glamour” that was created for moms like us to envy. When in FACT I was glamorous in my own way!
I had to remind myself that…
…if not, it would suck the life out of me as a mom. This is when the frustration comes in, you’ll end up quitting, and sabotage your success.
Five years ago when my daughter, Anaiyah, started VPK, I began to question how good of a mom I really was. Why you ask? Exhaustion. Fear. Stress. No time. Did I mention exhaustion?
I became that mom that dropped her daughter off in pajamas in the drop off link. Yes, glasses on to cover the no make-up (or make-up from the night before). I became the mom I didn’t know there was a sign up sheet in the classroom for snacks. (P.S. I was also the mom that missed the snack day).
UGH! I was completely failing at being the SUPER-MOM I should be right?!
The other moms and to be judging me right?
My favorite is when Anaiyah’s teacher came to the car and said, “Tomorrow is picture day for the Moms and the kids. Can you wear make-up for the picture and come in the classroom?”
WHOA!!!!! Was I that much of a failure?! Get it together Marina! I mean the Housewives can do it all, why can’t you???
Balance has always been my struggle. See, I work round the clock from home. I run a very successful brand and business in Network Marketing and I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do! I get my joy and high from the success of others in my group! So I always say YES to what is needed to help them grow!
I have been blessed to be able to work from home and create a beautiful life for my family. I wake up at 7 am and lay my head down at 12-1 am. Then wake up and was, rinse, repeat.
Right now I am working my butt off to build a legacy for my family! Three more years!
(At least that’s what I tell myself. I know deep down I could never walk away from helping others. I love what I do. It fuels me to help other single moms out their obtain their dreams!)
And my biggest judge and competitor was and is MYSELF! I would, on the regular, beat myself up for not being the SUPER-MOM and compare myself to others. Hence the reality shows! I put so much stress on myself about all the things I wasn’t doing, that I never recognized the things I WAS DOING.
The list goes on and on!
Once I started to list what I was going to be a great mother, dropping her off in my pajamas didn’t seem so bad! Hey, I picked her up dressed and ready for the day!
(Something I talked about in Episode 35, click here to read more ).
So for Anaiyah’s Kindergarten the next year, I went straight to her teacher, told her my story, how I operate, and what my goals were for this year with Anaiyah. I also told her I want to be available for any help for the classroom. However, with my schedule it makes it difficult for me. Text me with whatever I can bring in to make your life easier! She nodded, smiled, and said, “I appreciate that.” She understood. WHEW! That pressure was off my shoulders!
TV, social media, and magazines are giving a false image of what motherhood looks like and what it actually is.
Especially social media, it brings out the negative side of our feelings as moms. For me personally, when I am scrolling through Instagram, I legit see pregnant moms and they look like they weigh less than me and find myself getting into this subconscious mode where I start to judge myself.
I’m lucky if I remember to brush my teeth somedays! I’m serious LOL!
Sometimes things will suffer, you have to sacrifice, but you find the balance. Eventually I fall asleep with make-up from that day, laundry sometimes gets done (Anaiyah’s is always done), I might forget to feed the dog from times to time (not really, but you catch my drift).
With all that said, I know this, I love my daughter unconditionally and what other moms so to be a SUPER-MOM does not mean that will me me a SUPER-MOM. I needed to give myself some credit for what I had achieved and for what I will achieve as a mom. I also needed to find more balance to be present when I wasn’t working.
That would make me a SUPER-MOM.
In 2016, whenever I heard, “Mommy will you play with me in my room,” I began to drop whatever to spend 15 minutes present with my baby girl.
→ No phone. ←
→ No computer. ←
♥ Just me and her. ♥
What I realized is when I start planning out my actual days, scheduling in when I am working my business and when I’m spending time with my daughter, I have more joy in my life now than I ever had.
Stop comparing yourself to the images we see of the “perfect” mothers on these crazy reality shows. Start acknowledging the amazing mother you are. Every mother has a different style, a different plan, different goals, and a different struggle. But we all have one thing in common.
We unconditionally love our children and LOVE is always enough of a solid foundation to work from.
Every Sunday I watch Oprah Winfrey when she goes live and talks about her SuperSoul Sundays, where she does interviews. There was an interview with a woman who spoke about a book called, The Power of Now.
She spoke about how she could not find the joy in her life because she wasn’t being present. She was on a hamster wheel where she was stressed, anxious, and having panic attacks. She had no joy.
As moms, we have this connection to one another. We have the ability to feel each other’s pain and see our own struggles in each other. This is where we have to come together and empower our growth!
Empower our strengths! Empower our culture! Empower the movement!
WHY? Because we are worth it!
So, I want to challenge you to look at the moments you are in each day:
» Are you waking up and reaching for your phone? «
» Are you rushing to gather the kids together to get them to school and you’re not in that actual moment? «
Be in the present each time you are with your child(ren) and stop comparing yourself to those reality TV show moms!
I want to challenge you to reach out to 3 moms that need to be empowered and inspired by you today. Give them a compliment! Tell them how amazing they are and that you have noticed their hard work. Maybe they are in your business right now and need to know that you recognize what they are doing.
I know when I get compliments as a mom I know it makes me feel like I’m a super hero because WE ARE SUPER-HEROS as mothers.
Heeler Resources and Swag:
You shouldn’t feel guilty when it comes to building your business and being a mom!
Episode 35: The top 3 struggles of a Mom Entrepreneur Click here to read full episode..
Click here to Grab a copy of The Power of Now