Does a Victim Mentality Mess with your Business?

How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality: 7 Powerful Tips

(Yes It Messes with YOU making more money!)

This is going to be a serious training. I feel like I give a lot of tools and tips on how to build your business through social media, how to do a live video, or how to convert a sale but at the end of the day, if your mindset is not in the right place (all you do is b*tch, moan, and complain…excuse my french) and you’re not looking for ways to better yourself, you WILL get stuck in that hole of drama and crap.

I hate to break it to you boo boo.

I don’t care how much skill you have or how much you know, you will end up in the same spot you are now down the road when you find success in your Network Marketing business.

You cannot fake happiness.

If you are faking it, it’s only a matter of time before something happens somewhere, somehow, or someway that affects you from growing in your business or getting to the next level.

How do I know this ish?….Because that was me.

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Have you ever had someone on your team have a pity party 24/7 and they are always the victim?

Or….Maybe it’s you?

Maybe you just aren’t looking in the mirror, blaming everyone else, and not taking responsibility for you being the reason why growth isn’t happening because you’re legit in the victim mentality?

That is what I am going to cover in todays Episode. Are you the Victim or the Victor?

I am not going to apologize for how I am going to deliver this information. Someone a while ago had to smack me in my face and get me out of my pity part bull*.  I am going to help you do that today.

This is not a kumbaya training, this is an IN YOUR FACE this might not be for you. Jump off if you want to stay in your victim mentality.

If you are ready to be yanked out of that victim mentality, you’re ready to build a big business, and you’re ready to stop blaming people, this little exercise we are about to do is going to help you. I am going to give you 7 powerful tips to break out of that mentality.

First, here are some phrases you should get rid of immediately. I have to be honest with you, when I stopped using these phrases, things started to change and doors opened.

The door of success.

Phrase 1. “Just my luck.”

Phrase 2. “It always happens to me.”

Phrase 3. “Why me?”

These are all phrases of living below the line. People above the line prosper. Now, it doesn’t mean that just because they live above the line does not mean they don’t have obstacles, problems, or don’t feel like crap sometimes. Yes, crappy things still happen to those above the line, but they deal with it in a different way.

About a week ago I went to the Ray Higdon TEAL event (Top Earner Academy Live) and Ray said something that moved the crap out of me. I realized this a couple years ago but it was great to hear him say it again….

… “You can’t NEED your way to the top.” - Ray Higdon Click To Tweet

If all you do all of the time is beg, plead, and need, how the hell are you going to get to the top?

Today I am inviting you to WAKE UP like I had to:

🚫 Stop whining.

🚫Stop complaining.

🚫Stop the nonsense.

🚫Stop living below the line.

Below the line Mentality 

• When you live below the line you feel sorry for yourself. “Oh, this person didn’t join my team…” Boo hoo!

• You play the blame game. “Well, the reason I couldn’t do X was because Jill did this.”

• You find ways to justify why things happen to you. “It only happens to me!” Or “_______ happened so I am going to do X.”  Do you know someone who is like this, or maybe it’s you?

• Complaining. “I’m not lucky.”

• No confidence.

• Finding the negative in every situation just so you can hear yourself complain.

• Judge-mental of others. You’re always looking for fault in what other people do.

• Always in a F U N K . Legit, people dread to ask you how your day is because you’re like, “ughhhhhh, OMG my day was so horrible. Let me tell you what happened,” or “I’m okay BUT….this happened today”

Don’t you hate texting those friends because you are so sick and tired of hearing that there is something wrong?

Everything happens to someone, someday, somewhere, and somehow.

• How about those famous two words, “I can’t,” or “It’s not meant for me.”

If this is you, here is what I want to ask you. Do you think that top Network Marketing leaders are living below the line?

My guess is that it’s a big fat NO.

(Now, I’m not saying that they are perfect, I’m sure they have some below the line moments, but its at a different level.)

Here is what I want to invite you to understand. If leaders or happy people don’t live this way, why the hell are you living that way?

I am going to go through with you why its comfortable for you to live this way and 7 tools to help you STOP living this way if you are.

Now, let’s talk about above the line.

Above the line Mentality

• Confident
• Servants
• Humble
• Grateful
• Loving
• Powerful
• Courage
• Don’t sweat the small stuff
• Generous
• Persistant
• Charitable
• Show humility
• Integrity
• FUN!!!! Who the heck wants to work with a boring leader who is always so serious?

Here’s my thing, try to be honest with yourself. When I stopped living below the line and when I stopped being the “BOOHOO victim,” that’s when my life changed.

I was no longer like, “No one want’s to join my team,” but instead, “I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to do this business,” “I’m so excited I get to serve other people,” and “I want to have some fun and find others who want to have fun with me.”

It was no longer the “blame game.”

Do you understand this?

Until you start living above the line, it doesn’t matter the amount of skill-set that you have you are going to come out to your prospect as a needy freakin’ human. “You can’t need your way to the top.” – Ray Higdon

Yes or yes?

Now, let’s talk about the 7 tools to Break Out of a Victim Mentality.

1. Know the benefits of being a victim.

“Marina, what are you talking about? There are benefits to being a victim?”

For sure! It’s always about you. You’re the attention seeker. You get that validation. You don’t have to take any risks when you’re the victim because you are living in the victim state.

It makes you feel RIGHT about your crappy behavior. You don’t care about how you are making others feel around you because you are getting validated and someone is going to encourage you, unfortunately, to keep being in your ‘victimness’.

Well, I’m not going to be that person. GET OUT OF BEING THE VICTIM.

There are ways for you to change that and ONE WAY  to start is to become aware of it. Why? So you can make rational decisions, not based around being a victim, but about becoming the victor.

2. Be okay with NOT being the victim.

I’m going to give you an example. I used to go to work (mind you my boss was miserable ALL the time) and walk in with 3 computers on my desk. (This was their way of telling me I did so good, gifting me with 3 computers. LOL)

I was missing so much from my daughters life and I would come home every single day and cry and say, “She’s so mean….She’s ‘this’…she's’ ‘that.'” I was living in the victim mentality and needed to get out of it.

I gained hours back in my life the moment I decided that I wasn’t going to complain about it anymore. Instead I was going to work my business harder so I can get the hell out of there.

That’s what I mean by being “okay with NOT being the victim.”

You will realize that all of the hours you get back were, because you were perseverating on scenarios of things that have happened for you. You kept thinking about the past and sitting on it all of the time. That’s exactly why you couldn’t move forward.

You need to fill your thinking with NEW possibilities and with “what could happen IF you made a change?”

3. Take responsibility for life

Let me make this clear, your life and no one else's.

• It is not YOUR bad if someone in your downline quits.
• It is not your fault if someone can’t build their business.

Stop empowering that little monster in your head that makes you want to continue to be a victim. STOP IT! It’s not sexy, it’s needy, and that’s why people aren’t joining you. They can smell your needy crap a mile away.

That’s why the Spammy Tammy posts are so frustrating for me. It’s needy. When you don’t take responsibility for your life it’s going to affect your relationships, your bank account, your family life, and anything else in between it.

If you’re not taking responsibility for the crappy parts, how can you take responsibility for the good that isn’t happening to you?

4. Gratitude

I’m going to keep it real. I am still working on this.

I wake up every morning and I say what I am thankful for. Do you have a gratitude journal?

If I’m not grateful for what I have, how the hell am I going to be blessed with more. Think about that for a second and ask yourself, “Does someone have it worse than me?”

The answer is always yes.

No matter how big a pain is that you have from something someone did to you, somebody had it worse.

♦ You didn’t have a dad? Someone had a dad that was doing terrible things to them.

♦ You didn’t have a mom? Someone didn’t have a mom and a dad.

♦ You broke your arm? Someone has no arms.

I don’t mean to sound like an insensitive person to your pain point, but sometimes you need to be yanked out of your pity party and realize that someone has it worse off than you do.

And it sucks…

If you can think this way, it can help you yank yourself out of this ‘boohoo mentality.’

Zoom out and look at it from a different perspective.

5. Forgive

Yes, I am still working on this myself but forgive doesn’t mean you are going to forgive and then still talk about it. When you forgive, you have to ‘let it go’ like Elsa says.

I’m not telling you that you need to forgive someone who did a horrible thing to you because it’s the “right thing to do.” I’m telling you to forgive because no one is perfect and what if you did something just as painful to someone else?

“Resentment is something that bounds you to a person or a situation. Forgiveness frees you.”

You want to be free, right?

Just because you are forgiving them doesn’t mean you are saying what had happened is ‘OKAY.’ You’re forgiving them so you don’t have to be connected to that pain that they caused you any longer. You are freeing yourself by forgiving and it will allow you to live above the line when you forgive.

• Anger is always going to hold you back and if you have resentment you have anger.
• Anger inflicts suffering, not just on them but on you.

6. Impact Daily on Others

This has driven me to live above the line. This makes me get up in the morning and gives me the drive to know that even on the shittiest day, I can make an impact on someone else.

It makes me feel better. Yes, it’s selfish of me but I LOVE making an impact.

Get out and serve someone. I’m not just saying you have to go pay for something for someone, I’m saying go smile at someone who might have had a bad day.

• Go open a door for a human.
• Give someone a compliment.
• Tell someone ‘Thank You.’

Stop worrying about your pocket for once and ask yourself, “How can I give something of value and stop being needy all of the time.”

Go give, give, give and then you’ll get.

7.  Empower YOU with love

Forgive yourself.

You’re:

• Not perfect
• Going to fall below the line
• Going to screw up
• Going to Suck
• Hurt peoples feeling
• Be wrong
• Fail
• Lose things that you gained
• Lose a six-figure business and have to start over all over again (Yup, been there)

You might:

• Make mistakes in your relationship
• Do really stupid crap in your relationship
• Lose people that you love
• Screw up

You need to forgive yourself and stop beating up on yourself.

You need to stop putting the world on your shoulders and get out of being a victim.

If you are always “failing” in your mind, you’re going to continue to fail. Failing is a part of life. I have failed at this pregnancy, have complained about it and probably annoyed my family.

I have failed my team by not going to the company event because I couldn’t get on the plane and I had to forgive myself.

Zoom out and stop beating the crap out of yourself. You’re going to continue to fail, it’s a part of life. God did not make us perfect. Your imperfections are what make you beautiful.

Live above the line as much as you can and become aware of the victim mentality.

Wake up with gratitude, forgive yourself and others, be the VICTOR and not the victim.

It’s that simple.

Now, I know I am going to start getting messages, “Is this about me?”

Nope, this is about me today.

This was about me getting into a place where I started to blame myself for other people’s successes.This was about me getting to a place where I have a baby on the way and “how am I going to better serve my community and team?”

I hope it inspired you to want to be better and live above the line.At the end of the day you living in the victim mindset is only going to stop you from spreading your purpose and impact on this planet.

As always thank you so much for sharing this and coming to the blog this week.

Share with someone that needs to hear this.

xo,

Marina Simone

Please keep in mind that this blog post contains affiliate links. Please note that I only recommend tools that I personally use + love and I always have my Heelers best interest at 💗.